should i blog a book?

i’m bored, so i’m blogging. i was writing this book, i guess i still am, but i haven’t worked on it in a while, but i’m thinking about blogging it, and just writing it to get the damn thing out of my head. i’m still not sure, because i dont know when i’ll have time to work on it, and it would come as i write it, and since i don’t always write from start to finish, it might jump around a bunch too. it’s a pretty gruesome story. here’s a piece from a rough draft that i dug out and showed a friend. tell me if you like it.

Well, I might as well begin at the beginning. This story is about

angels and demons, and some in between, places where the veil

is thinner and both meet quite openly, and other, darker

corners, especially the ones that exist inside our own minds. In

my opinion, rarely will you find a truly evil person, but most

believe they are doing some good. This is balanced by some of

the greatest people never thinking they do good enough. Im just

writing, babbling, a fitting way to tell this story. We are more

effected by the unseen world than most believe. In my opinion,

we are vessels. Not to say we dont have free will, but to say we

are, by our own choice slaves to different things, and this takes

some of our will. We make excuses for what we do, some

justifying the most heinous acts as if they were of noble purpose.

We, like Lucifer, think we know what is good and what is evil, we

dont trust the judgment of God. i’ll start way back, as far as i can remember, so that you might

judge for yourself the events that took place.

ever since i can remember, at least until his death, i was visited

by a man in my dreams. well, not really in my dreams, actually

more like the time right when you start to fall asleep, but you

arent there yet. the threshold of sleep, if you will. i remember

very vividly the place and the man, but, most of the

conversations, i have forgotten. imagine a flat, rocky place, high

above the surrounding woods, with bits of dryed up grass and

weeds, and dead trees still standing, but with not enough soil to

take root, or live. in about the middle of this little area is a fire-

pit. this is where i met this man. i called , or rather he called this

place, the cross-roads. i never knew his name. and when i asked

him who he was, the best answer i remember getting was that he

was me, which didnt make sense, and still doesnt, even after all

thats taken place. he would tell me things, give me advice, it was

just, i dont know. like a teacher, a mentor. he always told me i

would have to begin the training, as he called it, and i wasnt

reallly sure what it was, but it seemed of utmost importance.

well, this went on, and i thought everyone had one of these guys,

i mean it never occurred to me that it was strange in any way. i

didnt really talk about it to other people, though. nothing

seemed out of the ordinary to anyone i guess, but i started

waking up in strange places. i mean, like in a toybox in the

basement, under boxes full of christmas decorations. it was a

football shaped toy box. i suppose my parents thought that was

wierd. well, one night, i’d say i was around six, i was going to bed

as usual, and i remember, i was wearing these pajamas that said

“the incredible bulk” on them, and had some blue hulk-like guy

on them. well, when i reached the threshold that night, i flew to

the crossroads (which is how i always remember going there, i

flew like i was a bird, a hawk, to be exact.) and there he was,

across the firepit from me. now i never ventured around once i

was there, because it wasnt safe. i could feel and sometimes see,

eyes watching me, all around, just outside the light from the fire.

now the man, which i’ll call guardian, he was always without a

shirt, and he had lots of tribal tatoos. he was muscular, and had a

sort of, i dunno, from another, harsher time look to him. he

always was weary, and injured, as if fresh from a battle, but

would put on an enthusiastic face and cheer me up. well, this

particular night, he told me that he was going to need my help. i

had no idea what for, but i agreed right away, wanting to be

there for one who was always there for me. i remember a door

frame appeared, it was odd, like a door that had no purpose, just

a frame set up, in the middle of nowhere. now he told me to look

closely at the frame. it was intricate, carved of some very strange

greyish-black wood or stone. i never touched it. it depicted a

battle of some sort, winged people and other things, more

sinister things, locked in mortal struggle. well, when i had

finished looking at it, at the moment i got to the bottom left side,

the frame filled with something like a cross between a waterfall

and a mirror. he told me to walk through it. as i was about to, he

told me not to be afraid, no harm would come to me.

* * *

now, when i woke up, i wasnt in bed, again. but this time, i wasnt

even in my house. i was in the woods, actually just down the hill

from the place the guardian called the cross-roads, and what i

call the cliffs. this was the single most frightening experience in

my life, at that time. it was still dark, nearing daylight. i had no

idea if i was awake or dreaming or in the threshold or what the

hell was going on. i was still in my pajamas, which didnt fit with

my cross-roads/ threshold experiences before, and i was scared.

i just started walking toward a light. it was on a road. the whole

way out of those woods, i could hear things moving around,

following me. i felt them, whatever they were, watching me. it

was wet out, and i didnt even have shoes on. i climbed up a hill,

and was on the road, and i walked toward more lights. then i

recognized this bus-house that my school bus stopped at right

after it picked the kids up at mine, the one we had to walk to

when the snow was bad. then, i knew how to get home. after

walking down a gravel road, which was lined with dense trees, i

was on my street. it was daylight then, and i went home. i got in

trouble for sneaking out, and i told them that i didnt. i just woke

up out there. from then on, i spent alot of my free time up in

those woods, and i found the spot that guardian and i always

talked. its a real place. i never met the guardian in the flesh, but

ive met some of those things that watched me that night.

now, after that, im not sure why, but the world was a different

place. i could do things i couldnt do before then. i remember, i

could leave my body, and just fly around, not only when i was on

the threshold, but whenever i wanted to. it seemed like i could

read other peoples thoughts, and i could see things other people

couldnt see. most of these things were horrible things, and after

then, most of my nights were filled with nightmares. still, when i

met with the guardian, everything was ok. i felt safe. im sure m

parents noticed i was different. in little ways at least. i could go

to someones house for the first time, and i already knew where

the bathroom was, the peoples bedrooms, etc. it freaked people

out. i went to the cliff all the time, every chance i had, trying to

make sense of all this, and trying to meet the guardian, in the

flesh. animals acted different to me, too. they would just come

right up to me. but those things, i called them the watchers, were

there, too. i felt them and heard them, but never encountered

one until later.

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4 Comments

  1. Vessels…exactly.

    Glad to see you bloggin’.

  2. yup. just got on again. internet connection’s been blocked most of the day

  3. This is great… Keep it up.
    I’ll buy a copy

  4. thanks dav.


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